I woke up this morning feeling like my heart was going to explode.
Well, that was AFTER the fact that I deliberately neglected to go to the gym. You see, aside from the fact that I somehow manage to get to work at least an hour before my other colleagues, mornings aren't my strong suit. One day, I'll be a champion at mornings. (Insert, "I have a dream" speech...which is completely NOT related, ha!)
My heart....yes, my heart. I admit that I am quite the emotional person. Most of my emotion is internal, which can be a great thing...and can also turn into the most ridiculously selfish thirty second display of emotion.
Picture this.
I'm walking to work (subway ride, included), headphones in, listening to a BETHEL song (for those of you who don't know who they are...check this: www.bethelmusic.com ) on the highest setting I can put my iphone on without disturbing anyone else. There is a bridge to the song which says:
Bless the Lord, Oh my soul cries out
All that is within me, Praise
Bless the Lord, Oh my soul cries out
All that is within me, Praise
Simple? Yes, it is. But the best part about something as simple and declarative as these words, is the fact that we sing them no matter how we feel. I'm actually in what I would consider a "mountaintop season." Is everything perfect? No, not at all. But my soul is well. I can see areas of my life that I was trusting God for breakthrough, actually bearing fruit. As i'm listening to this song, all I can think of is how faithful God has been through everything.
Then, I start to think about how good Jesus is...
How He saved me...and how He continues to save me.
How He has won my heart...and how He continues to win my heart.
I'm thinking about how much He knows me more than I know myself.
How He has relentlessly pursued me since the day I was born, and still continues to.
How He takes care of my family, when I can't be near them.
How He takes captive every single thought that isn't from Him...and replaces it with love.
How He knows my mistakes..and still gives me what I don't deserve.
He has forever WON my heart (and all of my emotions!) ...and I will gladly let Him.
If anyone has earned it, He has.
I'm not sure if this post has any one theme, other than to say...Keep remembering His goodness. Keep looking heavenward when all you see is calamity, chaos, confusion, and brokenness. If you are in your BEST moments, remember Him.
He never forgets us... ever.
I'll leave you with a verse that I have prayed so many times:
Psalm 51:12 "Restore to me the joy of your salvation. And grant me a willing spirit to sustain me."
The Message version is mind blowing:
7-15Soak me in your laundry and I’ll come out clean,
scrub me and I’ll have a snow-white life.
Tune me in to foot-tapping songs,
set these once-broken bones to dancing.
Don’t look too close for blemishes,
give me a clean bill of health.
God, make a fresh start in me,
shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.
Don’t throw me out with the trash,
or fail to breathe holiness in me.
Bring me back from gray exile,
put a fresh wind in my sails!
Give me a job teaching rebels your ways
so the lost can find their way home.
Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God,
and I’ll sing anthems to your life-giving ways.
Unbutton my lips, dear God; I’ll let loose with your praise."
