I’m going to be as real and as raw as possible in this blog post…and I hope, if anything, it provides some sort of therapy for my mind.
Here’s the brutal honesty. I think most people put their “best foot forward” when it comes to social media. Someone once commented on a photo I posted about laying in the grass and enjoying every moment, “Wow, your life is nearly perfect huh?”
I laughed really hard at that comment before replying…and for longer than 10 seconds. The thing is, my life isn’t perfect..nobody’s life is! But I guess, for a few moments, every once in awhile, I like to celebrate the really really small things. Because when we learn to celebrate the really really “seemingly insignificant” things/moments in life…we learn to enjoy life more.
Sadly, I didn’t really learn that until I was in my late twenties, almost thirties.
I HATE my job. Hate it…in fact, I’d say that when I think about my job, I get a little sick feeling in the pitt of my stomach that doesn’t go away until I take a moment to pray about it. You see, my current job didn’t always give me that feeling. I used to wake up, knowing I had a lot of work awaiting me, but I never had that nervous, sick, “so stressed out” I can barely get through this migraine feeling. The past few months have been a continuation of this very feeling…day after day. The weekends never quite seem long enough, and the moments when I’m enjoying life with the ones I love…never quite seem long enough.
I hate that. I despise the fact that I am so discontent. I think what’s worse, is the fact that those feelings can so easily creep in and poison the beautiful things in life.
I woke up this morning…trying to find an excuse to miss work. But it’s not in my heart to ever be dishonest to get out of work, even when I think I deserve it. (It’s a personal thing.. my parents instilled into me amazing principles in honesty).
Now, I could list all of the reasons why my job is an unhealthy place to work at…and also why I know it’s not somewhere I want to stay, but it would be pointless. It would be pointless, because maybe it’s a great place for someone else to work. Obviously I want this business to grow and flourish…just without me.
To answer the question I’m sure you are asking…YES, I am looking for another job.
Here’s where it gets good.
Just when I think that things can’t get any worse at my job…God always steps in and shows Himself faithful. I wish I could share the details, but all i’m going to say is that God is good.
There are those moments in life when you feel a little bit “hopeless” about a certain situation, and it’s in those moments that I believe God sends reminders..
“I’m with you…I haven’t left…I’m still here…and I’m going to take care of this.”
I know my job story is SO minimal when compared to so many of yours, but let this small small example be a reminder that He is with you in whatever battle you are walking through.
I woke up this morning hearing the holy spirit remind me to CHOOSE JOY. My first response was, “REALLY?! Joy?! There is no joy at my job.”
Hahaha!…and quickly I was reminded all over again of the fact that I have a job.
And that’s all I needed to shut up.
In saying that, I do not believe God wants us to be miserable in life. So, I am believing and trusting for more. I’m believing God has the perfect job out there for me..a job that I’m excited about. I’m believing for an Ephesians 3:20 kind of job…”beyond what I could even think or ask…”
It’s definitely out there. Until then, I may hate my job…but I will choose JOY.
I’m just gonna start laughing at all the dumb things that happen throughout my day instead of getting mad.
I’m sure people will start thinking I’m crazy, but whatever. At least I’m laughing!!!
Also, here are some beautiful scripture reminders of joy:
James 1:2-3
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."
Romans 15:13
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
John 16:22
"So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy."
