Growing up, I heard a lot of stories from kids my age whose parents sat them down, and told them that they would be moving to another city. As a kid, there is an immediate "panic-dread" feeling that overwhelms you the minute you find out that you have to move to another city, state, or school. Your life is now over. Done.
"But, I don't want to leave my friends! How will I make new ones?!"
Or..something like that. Even if you were the "cool" kid in school, you may not be in the next place - scary. Funny how that doesn't change with age. "What if people don't like me in my new job?"
Let's just call it what it is. Let's just be honest with ourselves, and admit what we have all felt (at some point in our lives). We just want to belong somewhere.
Years ago, a teen flick movie was released in theaters that uplifted the idea of popular, beautiful girls who bullied anyone who didn't fit into their ridiculous criteria. I remember watching this movie with my friends, and I hated it. My immediate response was anger and frustration that this was something that thousands of young people would watch, laugh at, and imitate.
I realize that my response was perhaps a tad bit dramatic, but nonetheless, I hated this movie. I've since watched it, and can look at it with a more "light-hearted" viewpoint, but I'm still not sure that I ever want to be "ok" with this movie. And YES, I do realize there is a greater "moral" in this movie, that was SORT of communicated at the end of the movie.
I digress on that.
I think it's easy to look at other people and feel like you're the only one who doesn't belong. You compare your life with theirs, and find a million and one reasons why you don't belong, and why EVERYONE ELSE does.
"Does anyone even notice me?"
OBVIOUSLY, THAT IS RIDICULOUS!! (and the biggest lie from the devil - he's such an idiot...and he's been feeding the same lie for centuries. Nothing new).
It's like the kids say these days, "Story of my life..." Ha. Funny thing is, I'm sure a lot of people feel this way, and no one else would know it.
The more I think about this whole "fitting in" concept, the more I realize that sometimes when we "fit in," we end up becoming someone that we hate - or someone that isn't truly who we are. We become more exclusive, instead of inclusive...and THAT, to me, is even more scary.
When I'm reminded I don't quite fit in whatever/wherever, I'm also reminded that someone else feels the same way. The real truth, folks: I'm not sure any of us really fit in. I don't mean that in the way that you might think. We all matter, but I don't necessarily believe we are all meant to fit in.
We are blessed enough to have friends/family that love us for who we are. They love us with all of our insane thoughts, stupid immature moments, and more obviously - our endearing qualities.
Let's look at the idea of healthy FAMILY for a second. A healthy family isn't perfect. Each member within that family has different qualities, desires, dreams, and even faults. How is that they all fit in though? Because each one of those members has made a decision to love each of the others, with no strings attached. They don't love them because they have everything in common, but just simply because of who they are.
THAT, is what belonging is all about.
Some of my best friends are incredibly good at making people feel welcomed - and truthfully, that is why they are my friends. I find it difficult to be close with anyone who doesn't think that way.
EveryONE belongs, and everyONE matters. If I can't find a commonality with someone, I try harder. I am primarily an introvert - but that's no excuse for being "too shy" to include someone else. And when I don't feel like I fit in, I try harder to make sure someone else doesn't feel the same way. Then the most beautiful thing happens. In the process of helping someone else, I am reminded that my part matters, and even more, that people matter. My focus shifts from me to others.
Jesus was/is the ultimate example of including others. When He gave His life on the cross, He thought of US. Not just one person...all of us. He thought of the world, present and future. He didn't fit in either, but yet He is the son of God. If there was ever an example to follow, it's His. He didn't fit in, was shamed and persecuted, but yet He loved relentlessly.
I started writing this a few weeks back in a moment of weakness. I knew how I felt was real, but silly. Most of all, I knew I wasn't the only one. But this is becoming less and less about me, and more about how I can do my part to include others.
Hopefully we are learning to grow in this as we get older. Hopefully, we are teaching those after us how to do this. I'm seriously tired of: "You can't sit with us!"
I'm going to start asking: "Can I sit WITH you?"
