Expect More Surprises!!

I absolutely love surprises...surprise gifts, surprise birthday parties, surprise engagements...surprise friendships...and even surprise opportunities. 

I have a friend who cannot stand surprises. She has to know everything before it happens...or at least a clue. It's kind of endearing.  But I don't understand that.. I love the thought that someone went through the effort to surprise me. It means that they spent time, effort, love, and energy on making sure that I don't find out. 

Plus-it's exciting...and thrilling to wait for the surprise! 

Can you tell I love surprises??!!

I remember a few years ago, a friend of mine said to me, "Nat, I believe this year God wants to surprise you with gifts. Not the kind of gifts you would expect. But he knows you love to be surprised, so expect it!" 

Months passed by before I remembered that sweet reminder of God's goodness in my life. Later that year, I was asked to go with a team that was traveling to Indonesia to sing, and minister. An actual dream come true... Only I couldn't have dreamt that one up.  In fact, I wasn't the first choice of who they would choose for the trip. But, I was God's first choice.  It was favor that I did not expect... And certainly didn't earn. In the same moment that I was asked, I was also told that I needed to come up with the money for the trip within a few days.  I remember thinking, "ok God, if this is you.. And I believe it is... Then I trust that you will work the finance out." 

And within 30 minutes, someone gave me the initial money I needed to book the   trip. 

The crazy thing is, I shouldn't have been that surprised that God would make something like this happen. He's such an amazing dream giver, and dream maker. He can make it happen in a matter of seconds. But sometimes He intentionally takes years to make it happen. 

This next year, dare to dream big... REALLY BIG. Think of the most incredible dream you can imagine... God can do bigger! 

Expect the unexpected surprises. Expect that you'll be surprised with incredible friendships, relationships, restored relationships, better jobs, mind-blowing opportunities, and even better days than you've ever had! If this year was difficult, expect that God wants to redeem it with surprises beyond your wildest imagination! 

Why shouldn't we expect the BEST?! I don't know about you, but I feel like I've accepted the "less than" and "this is good enough" for so long. There is nothing wrong with being grateful for what we have right now, in fact, we always should be grateful! But why not trust God for more?!

Why not expect that you'll have the most incredible year?! 

No matter what obstacles and opportunities come your way this year, they do not have the last word.  God always has the last word, and He wants you to have the most adventurous, exciting, blessed, and strengthened life possible.  BELIEVE THAT.

And if you don't yet believe that, well, I hope you're ready to be surprised by the unfailing, unconditional, and (sometimes) unbelievable love of God!! 

Start thanking Him for what you've been praying for years about... Just assume it's already yours! (Ephesians 3:20... That's for everyone!) 

Even if you think you don't deserve a good life.. Well none of us do. :) So... Get over that thought and look heavenward (dig into the Bible) and find out what God says about you, and what He wants for you! (Jeremiah 29:11 is a good place to start!) 

Honestly, I don't care at all about what HAS happened. It's the past...and if God forgives us of our past (and chooses to forget it) when we ask him, why should we dwell there?! HELLO.

Moving on folks...

Get excited about what's ahead, and get ready to be surprised by the goodness of  God! 

Give more freely this year... Love more extravagantly, and open your heart more wisely. 

In the words of my Pastor, Brian Houston: "THE BEST IS YET TO COME!" 

"Low Point!"...thoughts from "The Holiday"

One of my favorite "holiday" movies...(or possibly, one of my favorite movies in general) is "The Holiday."   I love how redemptive this story is.  The story begins with four (well, Five if you count the cute older man) completely broken people. In a twist of perfect fate, they all somehow connect with one another and find peace through their own pain.  In the end, Love is redeemed...and none are left alone.  My favorite part of this movie is how each one of them begin to find someone to reach out to.  In their sadness, they decide to include someone (who could be alone) in their holiday.  So instead of wallowing in self pity for weeks, each one of them makes a purposeful decision to seize the moment.

 I don't know what it is about the holidays...but they are bittersweet for me.  Perhaps it's because I wish that my life looked differently every year at Christmas.  Or maybe it's because I'm away from family, and can't get off of work long enough to visit them.  Either way, my expectations are unrealistic, and quite selfish - If I were to be honest.

Sure, I love the "look" and "feel" of the holidays...especially in NYC.  I'm a huge fan of the massive Christmas Trees and sweet sounding carolers, the decor, and the Christmas Carols, and even the cheesy Holiday cards that I get from friends/family near and far.  But even as I walk down the streets of NYC, late  at night (most nights), after spending time with people...I can still feel "alone."

And I often ask myself the question, "Why does this bother me so much?"

I then wallow in self-pity for the next ten minutes, thinking about what I don't have...and who I don't have...it ends up being the biggest waste of ten minutes.  I'll never get those ten minutes back, ever.  I spent ten minutes thinking about how my life isn't good enough...and it's in that moment of BRASH realization that I shake my head at myself.

"Nat, why are you so selfish sometimes?!  As if there aren't bigger things in this world to spend your time on.."

I have to chuckle at these silly moments because I just think of that scene in the movie "The Holiday" where Kate Winslet is nursing her wounded heart by turning up the gas on her stove with the windows closed.  When she realizes how crazy that decision was after about 15 seconds, she quickly turns the stove off, opens the window, and slaps herself in the face saying..."Low point! Low point...!"

Hahaha!

I love her for that!  Not because I would have done something like that, but because I too have those moments where all of the sudden my thoughts go from "feeling alone" to "no one wants me in this WHOLE WIDE WORLD!"...

SERIOUSLY?!  LOW POINT.  Haha!

Now, here's the REALITY of my life.

There was a Savior who came from Heaven to Earth...He became a man...went through the same struggles I have...and died for me...he died for all of us.  Then, as if he wasn't already the most incredible man who will ever walk the planet...He rose from the dead (conquering death for then, now, and forevermore!) and is now seated in Heaven.  He left his spirit (the holy spirit) so that we would always know that he is with us!

I don't know about you, but when I think about that for even a few moments, My heart feels like it's going to BURST.  The God of the universe LOVED us SO much, that He created this magnificent display of His love for us - SO that (if we decide to) we could be with Him, one day!

You know what?  I may not have everything I want...or think that I need.  But I have MORE than enough.  I have a job, a family that loves me, friends that I couldn't thank God enough for, an incredible Church I call "home," a Home for myself (and those who may need a place to stay every once in a while, and a life that is FULL of adventure.

I actually feel pretty rich right now.  And it has nothing to do with the amount of possessions that I own.  In fact, I probably own the least amount of things that I have ever owned living here in NYC, but it's my heart that is rich and full.  I'm learning more and more how to be grateful for what I have...the people I am in relationship with, and the places I find myself every single day.

These things aren't accidents...they are purposed by God for my life.  I don't want to take that for granted.

I'll take what I have and make it large, beautiful, extravagant, plenty, enough, worthy, and worth it!

So, here's what I would say to you...if you are having a "LOW POINT"...take a moment and let joy fill your heart.  Laugh a little...seek something out that makes you laugh so hard that your stomach hurts.  This maybe the most difficult time of year for you, but let Jesus come into your heart and fill it with Joy and Peace.

Let Him redeem this Holiday for you.  He ABSOLUTELY CAN.

My only advise, take the hand of someone less fortunate than you (in some way), and lift their eyes to see Jesus through you.  Just because you are broken, doesn't mean you don't have anything to give.  You probably have more than you thought possible.  After all, you are attached to the ultimate Heart-mender...JESUS.

Fill your time with lending a hand...delivering gifts...scooping out portions of food for those who barely get one meal a day.  If you fill your time helping others (obviously in a healthy moderation...that's another blog for another time), you'll find your heart full of JOY.

This will be the most wonderful Christmas you have EVER had...I believe that.

Look up, look heavenward, and reach out.

Merry Christmas... (soon)

x

By the Grace of God

 A few months ago...I came across a song by Katy Perry. It was a song I NEEDED to hear.  And before you think or say anything judgmental towards me, please understand that God is so gracious. He's so gracious and sovereign that He will use anything to reach out to us in a way that we need.

(Moving on...)

So there I was, sitting at my desk at work.  When all of the sudden, this song came on. My friend had warned me about this song. She said, "You NEED to listen to this..."  I'm usually skeptical when people message me stuff like that. Not because I don't like to be teachable, but because I don't always feel like you (people) know what I'm going through...enough to tell me what song is good for me to hear. But...she was right. And I was humbled....again.

These are the words I heard.... (Katy Perry's - "By the Grace of God")

Was 27 surviving my return of Saturn

A long vacation didn’t sound so bad

Was full of secrets locked up tight like iron mountain

Running on empty so out of gas

Thought I wasn’t enough

Found I wasn’t so tough

Layin’ on the bathroom floor

We were living on a fault line

And I felt the fault was all mine

Couldn’t take it anymore

By the grace of God (there was no other way)

I picked myself back up (I knew I had to stay)

I put one foot in front of the other

And I looked in the mirror and decided to stay

Wasn’t gonna let love take me out that way

I thank my sister for keeping my head above the water

When the truth was like swallowing sand

Now every morning, there is no more mourning

Oh, I can finally see myself again

I know I am enough

Possible to be loved

It was not about me

Now I have to rise above

Let the universe call the bluff

Yeah, the truth’ll set you free

Within a matter of 30 seconds, I was a mess.  Sitting there in my uncomfortable desk chair...staring off into oblivion at the two computer screens in front of me.  I remember thinking, "She wrote my song."  

Now, my life has not been horrible, or tragic when compared to many others' situations...but I will say this: I have walked through some dark days.  And I do not apologize for saying that. But I will gladly share my journey with you because I think someone will always need to hear it. (side note: be very careful with who you share your struggles with while walking through them...always use wisdom and caution because NOT everyone should, and can handle your business).

I'm not sharing this because I feel like my life is exactly what I want it to be right now. I'm sharing this with you because I needed to hear the message in this song...

By the Grace of God (there was no other way)
I picked myself back up (I knew I had to stay)
I put one foot in front of the other
And I looked in the mirror, and decided to stay...

There were so many times when I wanted to run away...leave...quit..and never look back.  I believe, that although God is loving, and kind in his approach to our inability to trust Him, I don't think that "quitting" is a part of his plan...ever.  

I think the best thing we can tell ourselves is to STAY.  Some days, you've literally got to look in the mirror and tell yourself to STAY.

Speak to your spirit/heart, and tell it what/how to react! Get agressive...and fight for your life! 

"The LORD is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him." Psalm 28:7

I will say this more often than not...the word of God is so powerful.  Use it...as much as possible. Maybe the answers to your questions never come, but that doesn't negate the goodness of our God.  And it definitely doesn't negate His promises over your life.  

So your life is a mess right now?  I know you feel like you're alone, but you aren't.  The feeling of loneliness, fear, doubt in what you once thought God spoke to you, broken heart, depression... I've been there.  

It's exhausting...carrying on.  It's also humiliating, thinking that you should be in a "better place." That's reality. So what can we do about it?

When you are faced with the very thing that breaks your heart...several times in a day/week...keep pushing on.  When you're not sure if you'll ever be "ok"...Keep moving.  Keep looking heavenward. 

There were days when I couldn't listen to even my best friends...because even their advise (although..it was biblical, wise advise) wasn't good enough. I had to stick my face in the bible and read.  I had to read the same "faith" confession verse..over and over. I read it until I actually started to believe it.  Did it take time? Absolutely. Did I have to remind myself everyday of that verse? Absolutely.

Do yourself a favor.  Don't assume silly things like "no one understands me..." But instead, assume that your situation is something that many have walked through - because that is probably true.  Even more than all of that - GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE US.  His word reminds us of that:

"Never will I leave you...Never will I forsake you."  Deuteronomy 31:6

In those moments when you feel like you're not getting any better... I challenge you to declare these words over  your life:

"I will live and not die. I will Proclaim what the Lord has done!"  Psalm 118:17 

Choose to thank the Lord for what you are trusting Him for...BEFORE you see it happen.  Thankfulness breeds incredible things right before your eyes.  It's not magic...it's the Kingdom of heaven at work in your life.  So whether or not you see it, God is at work...and He is moving around the pieces of your life in such a way that none of us could possibly understand. That's what makes Him, God. 

By the grace of God, you WILL carry on.  By the grace of God, you WILL be whole again. He WILL heal your heart.  He WILL restore your family.  And He WILL be your closest friend..and dearest companion along the way.  

I think it's time for us to stop complaining about where we are at, get up - and start to speak "life" over our situation.  Declare the goodness of the Lord!  Take it ONE step at a time. 

By the grace of GOD...you will be alright.  Keep your head up...there is so much hope in knowing that God has got YOU...and He's not letting go.  

HE is all you need.