From One Woman to Another

Let’s be honest, Ladies…we can be brutal and awful to one another.  We can be judgmental, conniving, jealous, competitive, and threatened by one another.  For some reason (especially in NYC), we feel the need to do whatever it takes to climb to the top – even if it means that someone gets hurt along the way.

“It’s not personal, it’s just business.”

We sometimes assume the worst about another woman, especially if we feel threatened by their beauty. Am I the only one?

I think NOT.

I wonder… I wonder what life would be like if women uplifted one another instead of tearing each other down.  I wonder what insecurities would dissipate if we assumed the best about one another, EVEN if the other person’s motives aren’t good.

Now I know you’re probably thinking – “oh Nat, that’s cute. You want the world to be a better place. That’s so cute and naïve.”

Yeah, perhaps it is. But you see; I’ve actually seen what this looks like. I’ve seen it, and I’ve actually felt what this is like. It’s as real as the chair you are sitting on whilst reading this.

I’m a part of an amazing church that believes in women and the purpose they bring to this world. I actually know quite a few churches like this. Amazingly enough, the men in our church believe in us and support us as well. And even MORE, the women in our church lift each other up. We support one another…and we celebrate the beauty and successes in one another.  GASP. We SUPPORT THE SUCCESSES AND BEAUTY IN ONE ANOTHER?! YUP.

I don’t know about you, Ladies.  But I actually find this quality in other women  refreshing. It makes me want to be friends with women who carry this kind of grace-filled love for one another. And may I please add, that I actually (maybe I’m wrong) think that men find this attractive as well. I think Men might even respect a woman more when she exhibits this kind of humility towards other women.

What is more attractive than a woman who is confident enough to applaud and compliment another woman?

That doesn’t mean that we don’t deal with insecurity and feeling “ugly” or “fat” some days. It means that in SPITE of how we “feel,” we can still muster up enough love and confidence in who we are to reach out to another woman (even if we feel threatened by them in any way) to offer GENUINE kindness. Key word – GENUINE.

If I may… be so bold to say a few little “tid-bits.”

Please – for the love of the FATHER GOD in Heaven, Let’s STOP using the excuse that we are just hormonal. PLEASE.

I get it. Our hormones are a bit out of our control at times, and can be interesting to navigate for some women who do have an imbalance. For the rest of us, who actually have no excuse – let’s not use it anymore…ok? Ok.

So when we have moments where we are less than “pleasurable” to be around, how about we extend an extra bit of grace for one another. Recognize those moments of weakness, and go the extra mile.

Imagine if other women looked to YOU to be the “light” in their life. Imagine if instead of someone being turned off by your constant insecurity that outworks itself in rudeness or aloofness, that they are drawn to the fact that you INCLUDE others.  Gosh, I love when I meet other women that are inclusive! It makes me want to be a better person…and it challenges me to be more intentional about including others.

So how about it, Ladies? Let’s be more encouraging to one another.

Instead of getting upset with your friend who got the part you wanted in the show, or got the modeling job with the company that you wanted, that you celebrate with them instead.

Instead of allowing jealousy and hurt poison your heart because “everyone else is getting married and you aren’t”…that you celebrate.  TRUST ME; I know what this feels like. And I made a decision – a deliberate decision that I would celebrate with my friends, because I knew that my day would come. SO SUCK IT UP, and just be happy for each other! (Side note: my friends are AWESOME at this.)

I’ll leave you with this…

I think there is an incredible power in unity; especially when women come together to help one another. We can get a lot more accomplished this way.  Life is a LOT more enjoyable when we work together as well.

We don’t all have to be best friends, but we really should learn to work together better. It’s not impossible…but it may take a bit more humility on our part. Are you up for it?