At five years old, I was unstoppable. I wrote songs and choreographed dance routines all the time...and they were...definitely UNFORGETTABLE. With the biggest smiles on their faces, my mom and dad would patiently listen to my terribly written songs...which-i'm sure made NO sense at all!
I remember playing outside with my older brother all of the time. I remember my dog, Zeak...who eventually ran away. I vividly remember the day that I fell into the thorn bushes outside the front of my house whilst wearing only my bathing suit. I remember playing Frisbee with my dad, and being carefree. I remember so many good things about that part of my life. I remember being full of smiles...and joy...and laughter. I don't; however, remember ever lacking confidence. It wasn't even a question of whether or not I could or couldn't sing a song...or whether I was good enough. I just was.
It wasn't until I was around 10 or 11 years old that I became AWARE of my ability to fail. It seemed like 'all of the sudden' I wasn't good enough, talented enough, brave enough, pretty enough...but who told me that?!
It certainly wasn't my beautiful mom, who never ceased to tell me how beautiful I was. It definitely wasn't my dad or my friends, or my teachers. Other than the usual 'kids being kids' ridicule in school, nothing was terrible enough to have changed my view on myself that drastically.
For at least 3 or 4 years, I was terrified to sing in church. I couldn't even imagine performing for anyone. I was silenced...and I wasn't even sure when or how I was silenced.
Finally - years later, I was singing again in church. I was around 14 years old when I led my first song during the 'praise and worship' portion of the service in my youth group. That was the night I realized I wanted to do that forever. (My dreams were clearly not big enough at that time!). Even to this day, I still count it an honor and an unbelievable privilege (one I have not or will ever have earned) to lead people into the worship of our Savior. I also believe with all of my heart that God has placed that desire on the inside of me because He has called me to lead in this area...for this time. I can't speak for the future, but I can speak for the now. So, as long as I have the trust and the opportunity to lead people into His presence, I will do it with confidence - knowing He is with me.
I remember playing outside with my older brother all of the time. I remember my dog, Zeak...who eventually ran away. I vividly remember the day that I fell into the thorn bushes outside the front of my house whilst wearing only my bathing suit. I remember playing Frisbee with my dad, and being carefree. I remember so many good things about that part of my life. I remember being full of smiles...and joy...and laughter. I don't; however, remember ever lacking confidence. It wasn't even a question of whether or not I could or couldn't sing a song...or whether I was good enough. I just was.
It wasn't until I was around 10 or 11 years old that I became AWARE of my ability to fail. It seemed like 'all of the sudden' I wasn't good enough, talented enough, brave enough, pretty enough...but who told me that?!
It certainly wasn't my beautiful mom, who never ceased to tell me how beautiful I was. It definitely wasn't my dad or my friends, or my teachers. Other than the usual 'kids being kids' ridicule in school, nothing was terrible enough to have changed my view on myself that drastically.
For at least 3 or 4 years, I was terrified to sing in church. I couldn't even imagine performing for anyone. I was silenced...and I wasn't even sure when or how I was silenced.
Finally - years later, I was singing again in church. I was around 14 years old when I led my first song during the 'praise and worship' portion of the service in my youth group. That was the night I realized I wanted to do that forever. (My dreams were clearly not big enough at that time!). Even to this day, I still count it an honor and an unbelievable privilege (one I have not or will ever have earned) to lead people into the worship of our Savior. I also believe with all of my heart that God has placed that desire on the inside of me because He has called me to lead in this area...for this time. I can't speak for the future, but I can speak for the now. So, as long as I have the trust and the opportunity to lead people into His presence, I will do it with confidence - knowing He is with me.
Let's fast forward to now. I am not an expert on "being confident". I am however, aware of the moments in my life where I believe the devil (in his idiotic way) attempted to steal away the confidence I had in Jesus. Just like the Lord has a plan for my life... so does the enemy. His only (foolish) plan is to destroy my life...and keep me from remembering God's wondrous plans for my life.
I truly believe that God doesn't want me to lack (for any amount of time) confidence - for any reason. He calls me (US) to be confident in HIM.
Philippians 4:13: "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me."
Joshua 1:9: "Be strong and Courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
Why is it that I doubt who God has called me to be? Why do I question my ability to reach out to another person and offer them hope in Christ? Why do I lack confidence when I'm in a situation that is "out of my depth," when God promises to be WITH me always? The answer is simple…I lack confidence when I take my eyes of Jesus. I lack confidence when I rely on my own strength.
I've been pondering the idea of what "a confident woman" looks like. Not just a confident woman, but a godly confident woman. What does SHE look like?
I can trace back to each season in my life when God, so graciously placed and positioned incredibly mighty women in my life to lead and mentor me. In every season, I was blessed by at least one woman who walked in a beautiful confidence in Christ.
The common factor I found in each one of them was not their ability to avoid insecurities, but rather their total dependence on God - and THAT brought them confidence as they walked through the things in their life that brought out insecurities. I watched these women navigate seasons where they were COMPLETELY out of their depth, but yet they knew they were CALLED BY GOD. That is all they needed to know. They weren't concerned by the opinions of every other women around them, because they knew the voice of the holy spirit - and trusted that more. Did they make mistakes along the way? Absolutely. But their mistakes didn't dictate which way their confidence in God would go.
These confident women were beautiful - in every way. They laughed...a lot...even in the worst of times. They loved abundantly, even when they had nothing left to give after spending hours of their day with screaming children. It's so much more than the way they were so elegantly dressed all the time. Their confidence wasn't even found in their ability to prepare food in a way that made me long to do the same. It was the outpouring of love that poured out of every single thing that I saw them do. They were not perfect...just confident in Jesus.
After thanking God (once again) for allowing me to walk through life along side amazing women like the ones I just described, I began to 'jot' down some thoughts and lessons I've learned from them. Most of these ideas have come out of the hard lessons I've learned about living in insecurity, and how damaging it is.
Ladies- when we are confident in Jesus, we aren't afraid of stepping out of our "comfortable group of friends" to meet the new, shy, and completely awkward woman who is sitting by herself in the back at church. We are comfortable even in the uncomfortable situations, because we know that the holy spirit is WITH us. I pray that I always notice people...even when I am "busy" or "distracted"...that my capacity, by the grace of God, would be large enough to notice someone in their time of need. I think when we are confident, we aren't worried about things like having enough money to help someone else, because it's so much more than that. We know that we have so much more to give than just finance.
Why is it that females are so intimidated by one another!? I think it's utterly ridiculous - anyone else? Ha! How about this one: We are not afraid to talk to the girl who likes the same guy you like (and is 'prettier than you') because we are worried she might get him! (Hello! That's real.) Seriously, can we stop assuming the worst about one another!? #ForTheLoveOfGod. One thing I love about the women in my church is that we are so quick to encourage one another. We almost thrive off of "compliment wars" about each others' beauty and friendship. The moment a thought of inferiority, insecurity, or comparison enters our mind, we should quickly replace it with what God says about us. There is no time for any of that!
When we are confident in Jesus, we are quick to celebrate one another's victories and triumphant stories - not because it's easy...but because jealousy doesn't just "creep" in...it INVADES our spirit...and it's ugly. We choose to rejoice, instead of allowing jealousy into our lives:
"For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder..." James 3:16
A confident woman avoids comparison! She doesn't even waste time comparing her body image or her talents/abilities with another woman. I think we've all done this! Instead she focuses on who God made her to be..and being the best at that. She focuses on how to be the healthiest version of HER that she can be. I LOVE meeting a woman that loves the way she was created! It's so refreshing!
I think we can all agree that It's exhausting being around a bunch of women who sit around and talk about the flaws on their bodies! TRUST ME, I've been that woman! What a sad conversation topic... and absolutely boring!
A confident woman isn't afraid to have the "hard talks." She doesn't avoid confrontation because that is a sure sign of immaturity. She is intentional about speaking up when it is necessary, and very slow to focus on the things that don't matter. A confident woman of God knows how to say, "I'm sorry, and I was wrong." She's not afraid to be humbled because it's ONLY Christ who gives her confidence.
A confident woman of God is dependent on the holy spirit for her guidance, wisdom, and ability to discern right from wrong...even for her ability to love people the way Christ does.
She doesn't know how to settle for 'second best' in anything because she is so closely clinging to Jesus. She will never take a 'second best' job, or a 'second best' relationship, or a 'second best' opportunity...because she TRUSTS that God has His best coming her way!
I was talking with a friend of mine who was telling me about a guy she was getting to know. They have been getting to know each other as friends for awhile now, and she has become very interested in him. (Side note: this guy is an incredible man of God who has honored and respected her since day one.) She said the most "freeing" thing to me the other day. She said this, "Nat, I've realized something. Even if nothing ever happens with this guy, I'm ok. I'm ok, because I KNOW God has his best for me. I won't even skip a beat."
And I knew she meant it.
What if that was our response to everything?
I KNOW God has His best for me.
I don't want to be known for whether or not I have a lot of friends, or whether I take good photos or not. I don't want to be known for my ability to sing well or not sing well. I really don't want to care if another person gives me a compliment about my beauty. I want to be a woman SO confident in who I am IN CHRIST, that these things seem insignificant when compared to knowing Him.
To KNOW Jesus is all the confidence I will ever need...for now...and forevermore.
He can be trusted.
He can be trusted.
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