If there is ONE regret that I still think about, it would be that I wish I would have stayed in piano lessons. I think about this…PROBABLY once or twice a month, especially when I want to sit down and write a song. I used to search for songs that had only the most simple chord progressions - because that's all I knew how to play.
One of the few songs I could play on the piano was an an old worship song that I used to sing when I was in middle school, written by Graham Kendrick.
All I once held dear, built my life upon
All this world reveres, and wars to own
All I once thought gain I have counted loss
Spent and worthless now, compared to this
Knowing you, Jesus
Knowing you, there is no greater thing
You're my all, you're the best
You're my joy, my righteousness
And I love you, Lord
Now my heart's desire is to know you more
To be found in you and known as yours
To possess by faith what I could not earn
All-surpassing gift of righteousness
Oh, to know the power of your risen life
And to know You in Your sufferings
To become like you in your death, my Lord
So with you to live and never die
I woke up this morning with this song in my head.
"Knowing you, Jesus…Knowing you. There is no greater thing.."
What a powerful statement to make - and OH so true! I haven't lived for that long, but I have lived long enough to know life without Christ - even if I was still attending and serving in church. There were so many years that I spent NOT really knowing Him.
In not knowing Him, I wasn't aware of His goodness. I had no idea about his grace and His mercy towards me. How could I? I had a bible - which are God's VERY words…but I barely cracked it open to read on a Sunday. Even more heartbreaking, was the fact that I had NO idea how much He loved me. I had no idea that His love for me was greater than my sin…greater than my inability to understand Him. I had no idea that He was bigger than the problems I was facing at school, in my family, and in my heart. I had no idea, because I didn't know Him.
When I first moved to Sydney, Australia in 2006, I was like a rag doll that had been through the washer and dryer one too many times. I was worn, and broken, and torn, and faded.
"There is no way that God can use a wreck like me…" I would often say to myself.
In time, I began to start talking to God. Just talking. Nothing fancy, or well thought out, or profound - just my broken heart exposed for MY God. That is all He wants. Just my heart.
Through the years, I have learned that a relationship with Jesus really is the most exciting, the most challenging, the most freeing, and the most safe place to be. He is everything that I need - forever. Yet, He knows me well…even more than I know me. He knows that one day I will need another person to share life with. He knows that my friendships are important for my "every day."
Jesus is enough. He's enough for me…all the time. He's enough - even when I think He's not. When I think that earning more money at my job would be better. In my most vulnerable and unguarded moments, when I would replace my relationship with Jesus with anything BUT Him… He is still more than enough. He is still good. He is still GOD.
I love Philipians 3:8:
"What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ."
WOW. "I consider everything a LOSS when compared to knowing Christ Jesus, MY Lord…" There really is nothing better.
There comes a point in a relationship when you don't have to defend why you love that person, and why they are the greatest person that you've ever known. You just know it. The conviction of your belief in that person is so deep, and so strong, that no one and no thing can take that away. That is how I feel about Jesus. It isn't just one moment that has led me to this point. It is every, single, day, since I made the decision to make Him MY Lord and Savior.
Perhaps, if I told you that He has been with me through seasons of success and joy. Or that He has remained faithful even through the nights that seemed darkest - when my sadness was so real, I felt like I couldn't breathe. His words were my very lifeline. Maybe that would be enough of an explanation.
He is just as real in my victories as He is in my failures. He hasn't abandoned me, or turned away from me, nor has his love for me lessened because of my mistakes. He has remained GOOD through it all.
I am forever grateful for the blessings that God has literally poured out in my life, but even still, they aren't nearly as satisfying as knowing Him. My friendships, my family, my job, the desires of my heart fulfilled… all of these things are absolutely necessary for our lives here on Earth. But they still aren't as rewarding as knowing Jesus.
If we could build our lives upon KNOWING Jesus, wouldn't it be easier to deal with the loneliness, or the relationship deficiencies we go through on a daily basis? Wouldn't it make it easier to deal with what feels like a "closed door" or a "failure?" I think our immediate response would still be that the BEST is still to come. That would be our response because we seek to know Jesus…and in seeking to KNOW Him, we find out that He only wants the absolute best for us.
In seeking to KNOW Jesus, our dependence on one person to satisfy every single need that we may ever have would be redirected to the only one who can truly satisfy our every need. It just makes more sense.
When we live like this, we live COMPLETE. We live whole. When we live whole, we have a greater capacity to love others. Basically, we always win.
Jesus is the completion of everything He has started. He is not only the author, but the finisher of our faith (Hebrews 12:2).
He is IT…He is ALL.
I'll finish with this quote from my daily devotional from A.W. Tozer:
"Martin Luther, the great Theologian, said that wholehearted religion lies in its personal pronoun. When the human heart cries with the psalmist, a prophet, an apostle or mystic, it cries out "God is mine." And when the human heart worships God and says "mine," God responds by saying, "Yes, I am. I am yours."
Knowing HIM is the most beautiful adventure we will ever know.
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