From One Single Woman to Another...

About 4 months ago...I was still heartbroken...still trying to figure out how I was ever going to be WHOLE again.  I remember sitting at home, alone - asking God what I should do about how I "felt." 

"God, how do I heal?  I know ONLY you can do this...but what can I be doing in the process?"

It was at that point that I - very clearly - felt Him lead me to read Proverbs 31.  

I remember the excitement I felt to read this passage.  I've read this passage several times, but I never really understood the reasoning behind spending a lot of time in this passage...until that day.  I said to God, "If you want me to read this, then can you please make one of these verses personal for MY life." 

As I sat down at the table and began to break down the passage-verse by verse- what I found was far more than I had ever seen before.  It DID become very personal for me...it came alive for me...and I couldn't believe how much these verses spoke to where I was at - in that moment.

I was incredibly encouraged and challenged by what I read, so I thought I'd share it with you ladies.  I took this from THE MESSAGE version of the Bible, but feel free to check it out from whichever version you prefer. 


"A good woman is hard to find,
    and worth far more than diamonds."

How do I even begin with this one...what is the definition of GOOD?  Basically - NOT high maintenance, kind, gentle, care-free, loving...etc...the exact opposite of bad.  I want to be a rare find.  Not because I'm special, or better than anyone else.  But to the man I am perfect for, I will be a rare find for him. That is what I am aiming to be..I don't want to fit into a mold set by the world.  I want to be ME. The best me that I can be.   


"Her husband trusts her without reserve,
    and never has reason to regret it."

I have to be honest, this is probably my favorite one out of all of these scriptures.  Her husband TRUSTS her...WOW.  How many times have we heard woman talk badly about their husbands to a crowd? Nothing upsets me more!  I'm not saying it won't be easy to not want to vent about something that will upset me, but I don't want ever want to disrespect or dishonor him as my husband...ESPECIALLY behind his back. I'll leave those moments of "stupidity" for when we will have disagreements face to face. Also, don't think for a second that woman can't cheat on their husbands. No man or woman is superman or superwoman...protect and guard your relationship AS if the enemy has a plan to destroy it. Because, NEWS FLASH - the devil HATES a healthy relationship.  I want my husband to fully and completely trust me with every single part of him.  I love the last part of this... "and never has a reason to regret it." WHOA. 


"Never spiteful, she treats him generously
    all her life long."

Not a hard one to misinterpret...spite is ugly.  Ladies, learn to deal with issues that hurt you and bother you BEFORE they get to the point of "spite." Easier said then done...I know.


"She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
    and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
    and brings back exotic surprises.
She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast
    for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
    then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
    rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
    is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
    diligent in homemaking."

This whole passage literally blows my mind.  Imagine if  we were all so diligent in whatever God had put in our hands that we were constantly creating, and finding savvy ways to do everything.  Even when I am financially well off (because I plan on being in a better financial place than I am now), I want to learn to buy and take care of things with wisdom.  God honors this kind of thinking...so Ladies, let's always be thinking this way.  It's not wrong to want nice things, but learn to take care of what you do have now. 


"She’s quick to assist anyone in need,
    reaches out to help the poor."

This will ALWAYS be important.  Learn to keep your eyes and heart open for any and every opportunity.  Maybe you can't do everything...but gather some other girlfriends and get to work! 


"She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows;
    their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
"She makes her own clothing,
    and dresses in colorful linens and silks."

I love this. Don't just let your husband be the one who doesn't worry...learn to depend on God for EVERYTHING, yourself...that way you can stand along side WITH him, IN FAITH. Also, easier said than done. :)


"Her husband is greatly respected
    when he deliberates with the city fathers."

This is very personal for me...because I believe God has shown me small details about my husband....this one is very important one for me.  Ladies, when you are being pursued by a man, make sure he is respected by the people who speak into your life. If he isn't (yet), then wait...it might not be time.  And that doesn't mean that he isn't a good guy...just might not be ready.  Ladies, this might be a good time for us to work on this for ourselves.  Are we respected? Not are we "well-known"...two different things. 


"She designs gowns and sells them,
    brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops."

This is just hilarious - I WISH I could do this...who knows?!



"Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
    and she always faces tomorrow with a smile."

Appearance isn't everything...but it does matter.  Respect yourself by taking care of yourself. Eat well, exercise, and I promise, you will feel better about yourself.  Also...there is nothing more attractive than a smile.  I have actually read studies that say that a man will approach a woman who is smiling and laughing (that might not be as physically attractive) over a "very attractive" woman who isn't smiling.  Hmm...not a hard one, Ladies.  SMILE more...joy is contagious! 


"When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
    and she always says it kindly."

Also another VERY attractive quality...kindness.  Practice it often.  Anytime I see a man who exhibits kindness often, I'm immediately more attracted to who they are.  I want to spend time with them, simply because I know that they are not "too manly" to be kind to someone.  I will also add that kindness should not just be shown to the person you might be "interested" in for relationship...it should be shown to everyone.  A man or woman who does this consistently with all people, is a KEEPER! 


"She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
    and keeps them all busy and productive."

Learn to be proactive about what needs to be done and taken care of. Don't just rely on someone else to do it...you can learn this a single woman.  My dad taught me how to do a lot of things - something I'm grateful for.  Sure, I want my husband to feel like he has value by helping out with things, but I don't want him to feel like if he doesn't, It won't get done. That's just stupid. (too harsh?)


"Her children respect and bless her;
    her husband joins in with words of praise:
“Many women have done wonderful things,
    but you’ve outclassed them all!”
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
    The woman to be admired and praised
    is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
    Festoon her life with praises!"

What an amazing statement to have said about you!!  I think that if we are all (by the grace of God) seeking to be the best that we can be...before we are married, we might just be alright.  I'm glad that I have had all of this time as a single woman...because I've been able to deal with terrible habits and beliefs that would have been detrimental to a marriage.  My goal is not to be perfect...it's to be like  Jesus.  

 If you're wondering if Proverbs 31 applies to your life right now...it does. And it ALWAYS will.  I think marriage preparation begins as a single woman.   Let's learn to find our "completeness" and "wholeness" in Jesus alone.  This won't change when we get married...or even when we have children.  Learning this now means that we will be better about not placing unrealistic expectations on people...and one day, on our husband. 

Ask Jesus to help you to be the most amazing wife, now.  You don't need a husband to be preparing for one...

Ok, I'm done. :)